What is a hockey player’s favorite metal?
GOALD.
Why didn’t the maid like the Supermarket?
It was full of gross-eries.
How did the tower get hurt?
It was a Skyscraper.
What’s a swimmers favorite hobby?
POOL.
Why don’t boxer’s go to baseball games?
They hate No-Hitters.
Why was the lifeguard angry at the airplane?
It was diving.
Why was the storm so cold?
It was an ICEolated storm.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Hot Sumer Pun...
Why did the fitness coach have so many Potato chips?
He wanted to do many crunches.
Why was the boy, standing by the stove, so sick?
The stove was set to boil.(boy ill).
Why did the water make the man feel so good?
It was well water.
Why was the birthday card so rich?
It was a credit card.
Why was the poker player so rich?
He had lots of diamonds.
Why were the cardiologists looking for the card player?
He had lots of hearts.
Why was everyone afraid of the poker player?
He had a clubs.
Why did the card player make a good ditch digger?
He had spades.
He wanted to do many crunches.
Why was the boy, standing by the stove, so sick?
The stove was set to boil.(boy ill).
Why did the water make the man feel so good?
It was well water.
Why was the birthday card so rich?
It was a credit card.
Why was the poker player so rich?
He had lots of diamonds.
Why were the cardiologists looking for the card player?
He had lots of hearts.
Why was everyone afraid of the poker player?
He had a clubs.
Why did the card player make a good ditch digger?
He had spades.
Monday, July 11, 2011
.Summer jokes.2
Which Bird is smart and a thief?
A Well Read Robin.
What is a Poker player’s favorite material?
Cardboard.
Why did the home run break the door?
It was a grand slam.
Why was the bird so depressed?
It was a Blue Jay
What’s a kid’s favorite timepiece?
A grandfather clock.
Why was the hockey player so rich?
He got a lot of checks.
Why did no one like the tennis player?
He had lots of Faults.
A Well Read Robin.
What is a Poker player’s favorite material?
Cardboard.
Why did the home run break the door?
It was a grand slam.
Why was the bird so depressed?
It was a Blue Jay
What’s a kid’s favorite timepiece?
A grandfather clock.
Why was the hockey player so rich?
He got a lot of checks.
Why did no one like the tennis player?
He had lots of Faults.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
.Summer jokes.
How did the car fall apart?
The driver hit the brakes.
Why are golfers so honest?
They like the Fairway.
Why couldn’t keep time?
It was a stopwatch.
What’s gods favorite football team?
The Saints.
Why didn’t the girl like her dinner?
She had bad taste.
Why did the bad rocker go to the hospital?
He needed a band aid.
The driver hit the brakes.
Why are golfers so honest?
They like the Fairway.
Why couldn’t keep time?
It was a stopwatch.
What’s gods favorite football team?
The Saints.
Why didn’t the girl like her dinner?
She had bad taste.
Why did the bad rocker go to the hospital?
He needed a band aid.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial weekend post...
At what time are some people getting sick?
Coffee time.
What drink had to go to the Dr?
Coffee.
Why do lawyers travel?
They like SUEveneers ( Souvenirs).
Why was the yard in so much pain?
It had many Acers.
Why did the boy think the Dr. office sucked?
It had so many VACcines.
What is a musicians favorite seat?
A Rocking chair.
What kind of games do actors like?
Video games.
What meal should a Dr. give a depressed patient?
A happy meal.
Why was the book so tough?
It was a hard cover.
What is a photographers favorite desert?
Cheesecake.
What is a morticians favorite jewelry?
Diamonds.
Why was the math teacher fat?
Liked Pi
Coffee time.
What drink had to go to the Dr?
Coffee.
Why do lawyers travel?
They like SUEveneers ( Souvenirs).
Why was the yard in so much pain?
It had many Acers.
Why did the boy think the Dr. office sucked?
It had so many VACcines.
What is a musicians favorite seat?
A Rocking chair.
What kind of games do actors like?
Video games.
What meal should a Dr. give a depressed patient?
A happy meal.
Why was the book so tough?
It was a hard cover.
What is a photographers favorite desert?
Cheesecake.
What is a morticians favorite jewelry?
Diamonds.
Why was the math teacher fat?
Liked Pi
Saturday, May 7, 2011
We're back...
Why did the boy always bring a baseball glove to his computer?
It had so many Popups.
Why was the city so full of squirrels?
It was Oakland.
Why was the Cop so good at basketball?
All the practice he got Dunking donuts.
What do you get when you cross a comedian with a Toyota?
Adam Corolla.
Why did the miners wife always fall asleep when they were together?
He was always Boring.
Why are dentists good at basketball?
They can Drill threes.
Why was the carpenter so good at Football?
He could really Hammer the competition.
Why did the man fill the house with Owls?
He wanted to go to hooters.
Why was the Baseball player afraid to go to the dugout?
It was full of Bats.
Why did the Golfer have to go to the bathroom so often?
He had so many Tees.
Why don’t plumbers go on ships?
They don’t wan’na Sink.
Why do plumbers make good Basketball players?
They can Drain Threes.
Why can the donut fly?
It was a Plane (plain) donut.
Why was the Fireman not well liked?
He was not cool.
Why did the bus have a flat?
It ran over the Taxman (tacks).
How did the map unlock the door?
It had a key.
It had so many Popups.
Why was the city so full of squirrels?
It was Oakland.
Why was the Cop so good at basketball?
All the practice he got Dunking donuts.
What do you get when you cross a comedian with a Toyota?
Adam Corolla.
Why did the miners wife always fall asleep when they were together?
He was always Boring.
Why are dentists good at basketball?
They can Drill threes.
Why was the carpenter so good at Football?
He could really Hammer the competition.
Why did the man fill the house with Owls?
He wanted to go to hooters.
Why was the Baseball player afraid to go to the dugout?
It was full of Bats.
Why did the Golfer have to go to the bathroom so often?
He had so many Tees.
Why don’t plumbers go on ships?
They don’t wan’na Sink.
Why do plumbers make good Basketball players?
They can Drain Threes.
Why can the donut fly?
It was a Plane (plain) donut.
Why was the Fireman not well liked?
He was not cool.
Why did the bus have a flat?
It ran over the Taxman (tacks).
How did the map unlock the door?
It had a key.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Long time no jokes!? Here are some....
Why was the comedian taking boxing lesson?
He wanted longer "punch"lines.
Why did the bartender hit the patron with a pineapple?
He ordered Fruit "punch".
Why did the out of work actress go to the hairdresser?
She wanted to get a "part".
Why was the bad story writer so poor?
She made no "sense".
Why was the bodybuilder so drunk?
He had a "six-pack".
Why did the singer bring presents on stage?
He was a "rap singer".
He wanted longer "punch"lines.
Why did the bartender hit the patron with a pineapple?
He ordered Fruit "punch".
Why did the out of work actress go to the hairdresser?
She wanted to get a "part".
Why was the bad story writer so poor?
She made no "sense".
Why was the bodybuilder so drunk?
He had a "six-pack".
Why did the singer bring presents on stage?
He was a "rap singer".
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